I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Are my feet made of real feet?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
When are your genitals available?
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