i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
