I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
