Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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