Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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