Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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