Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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