Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
