For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
