Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
