Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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