I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
