wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
