so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
