Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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