My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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