i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
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Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
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How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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