theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
