there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
