I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
