Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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