haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
