Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize
