Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
