I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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