Quick, to the slutcave!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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