i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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