i would punch a child for taco bell
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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