ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
