I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
