but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This is classic penis vs brain.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
