Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
