do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
