Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
