I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
