i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
