I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
