1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
