What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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