he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
