Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
