the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
