I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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