You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
