i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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