just tell him i said nine months
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize