You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Found your dick twin last night
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
