I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
