hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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