His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
