And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
