After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I am available for nakedness
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