Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize