this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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