I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
