am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Randomize
