i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
