Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
