so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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