I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
