apparently the secret to your success is patron
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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