shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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