I think I won the penis lottery.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
