how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
